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LESSONS FROM BOWTIE'S JOURNEY - "DEFINE YOURSELF"

Posted on January 15 2019

DEFINE YOURSELF

THE SCENARIO:

 

SOME YEARS BACK, I APPROACHED A CIGAR SHOP ABOUT CARRYING MY LINE.  AFTER A FEW HOURS OF CONVERSATION AND SMOKING MY COPPER LABEL BOW TIE, THE MANAGER FINALLY SAID THOSE MAGIC WORDS…”I WILL CARRY YOUR CIGAR.”

 

A CHARMING FELLOW, THIS GUY IS A GREAT CONVERSATIONALIST AND HAS A VAST KNOWLEDGE OF CIGARS.  THE HUMIDOR HE MAINTAINED AT THE SHOP, IS STILL ONE OF THE VERY BEST I HAVE EVER SEEN!  THE CIGARS WERE ORDERED IN AN EXTREMELY INTELLIGENT FASHION AND THE HUMIDITY WAS ALWAYS PERFECT.  THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS I APPROACHED THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.

 

AFTER COLLECTING A COPY OF THE SHOP’S PAPERWORK, THE MANAGER SAID “OH YEAH, ONE MORE THING; IF I CARRY YOUR BRAND, YOU CAN’T SELL TO SHOP XYZ NAME.

 

(THAT CAUGHT ME VERY OFF-GUARD.)

 

AFTER INQUIRING, IT TURNS OUT THERE WAS A PERSONAL MATTER INVOLVED.

 

NONE OF THIS HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME.

 

AS I DROVE HOME, ALL I THOUGHT ABOUT WERE MY SONS.  WHAT LESSON WOULD I TEACH THEM, IF THEY KNEW I ALLOWED ANOTHER MAN TO DICTATE HOW I MOVE?  AS MUCH AS I APPRECIATED THE OPPORTUNITY, THE FOLLOWING MONDAY MORNING I PUT THE DOCUMENTS IN AN ENVELOPE AND COMPOSED A NOTE THANKING HIM, BUT DECLINING AND EXPLAINING WHY.

 

THE LESSON:

 

OVER THIS PAST WEEKEND, I CAUGHT A REPLAY OF THE MOVIE “THE BEST MAN”.  THIS FILM IS WHERE I WAS FIRST INTRODUCED TO POET AUDRE LORDE.  SHE WAS QUOTED BY ONE OF THE CHARACTERS SAYING,

 

“IF I DIDN’T DEFINE MYSELF FOR MYSELF, I WOULD BE CRUNCHED INTO OTHER PEOPLE’S FANTASIES FOR ME AND EATEN ALIVE.”

 

BOW TIE CIGAR REPRESENTS A JOURNEY I CHOSE AS A WAY TO PROVIDE FREEDOM FOR MYSELF AND MY FAMILY; A TANGIBLE LEGACY FOR MY SONS.  FREEDOM FOR ME MEANS DOING ONLY WHAT I WANT TO DO AND NOTHING THAT I DO NOT, ALL WHILE GENERATING MONEY THROUGHOUT THE PROCESS.  ALBEIT THIS WAS A SMALL THING, IT CHIPS AT THE VERY CORE OF WHY I STARTED THIS BRAND IN THE FIRST PLACE.  THAT IS SOMETHING I WILL NOT DO AND CANNOT ENTERTAIN.

 

MS. LORDE SO ELOQUENTLY STATED “DEFINE YOUR FOR YOURSELF”.

 

IT IS HUGELY IMPORTANT THAT YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS IS FOR YOU! OTHERWISE, YOU WILL “BE CRUSHED INTO OTHER PEOPLE’S FANTASIES”.  IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT YOUR JOURNEY IS.  THE CLEARER YOUR DEFINITION OF SELF, THE EASIER IT IS TO NAVIGATE THROUGH LIFE’S WATERS.

 

PEACE AND NAMASTE.

 

BOWTIE.